We specifically chose our hotel because Trip Advisor told us we’d be equidistant (about a 10 minute walk) from both Oktoberfest proper and the “downtown” section of Munich. Whether this is “downtown” like Times Square is “downtown” I’m particularly sure. All I know is we walked past a KFC, a McDonalds, a bunch of stores touting “New York Fashion”, and lots of packed restaurants with outdoor seating. After getting temporarily lost (which I’ll get in to later) trying to find the place, we found this lantern like a beacon in the night. We’d found Hofbrauhaus.

Hofbrauhaus was founded relatively recently in 1589 when the Duke of Bavaria decided that all the local Munich brews sucked and decided to open a brewery. His son, in 1602, decided that he liked wheat beers — so he made it illegal for anyone but him to brew wheat beer. Savvy business. Since 400 years ago, it’s turned in to (apparently) the most tourist-trappy of all the Brauhauses. Of course, as this was the day BEFORE Oktoberfest opened for business, all of these brauhauses were packed and this one was no different. When we finally got in, we were treated to a type of beer hall that just doesn’t exist here.

The Building: I can’t really even describe the size of this building. We walked about trying to find a table for about 15 minutes and I’m pretty sure we didn’t even walk through every possible room. We walked past a German “oompah” band… maybe 2… not sure. After walking around for 10 minutes we somehow ended up in the outside courtyard. This was delightful as it was approximately 150 degrees with 243% humidity inside. Once outside we still had to work to find a table before finally settling in sharing a table with a few random German folk. Before we even had a chance to settle in, a table of the perfect size for four opened up and I think I may have thrown one of my traveling-mates at it. Whatever.

The People: This was kind of the first chance I had to see the difference between the overly drunk German crowd and an an overly drunk American crowd. While it was rather loud, it was not nearly as rowdy as I expected save for a few dudes behind me who couldn’t keep their pants on. Literally. They liked showing their asses.

The Service: Honestly, I have no idea how these people made it through the crowd, but it seemed every time we needed a pretzel or another litre, they just materialized out of thin air. We had two different male servers over the course of the night (fully decked out in drinkin pants’) as I would become continually amazed at their skill. The most amusing part of the evening — even though we were sitting outside, we could see in to some of the inside rooms. At one point, people at a table decided to start banging their mugs on the table and chanting the riff from the White Stripe’s Seven Nation Army (this was a popular chant so I’m curious where the Stripes stole it from). Everyone in the room started joining in. As it got progressively louder and rowdier, a rather matronly looking German serving woman entered the room, threw a severe look in to the room, and raised a finger. Everyone shushed. It was amazing.

The Food: How different can sausage be? Different. We didn’t really have our wits about enough due to jet-lag and beer, so we simply ordered two different types of sausage with sauerkraut and pretzels. I truly dislike sauerkraut, but for whatever reason, the ingredients they add make it taste less like stinky feet and more like the vinegar mixture they soak it in. Also, this was the first indication I had that frozen hot dogs are likely made with everything that’s ever been rumored to be in them. These tasted so much better than American hotdogs. And the sausage? It had this garlic, peppery flavor that I fell in love with.

The Beer: This was the first time our tables were introduced to Litre Mugs. They are… challenging. It’s not so much that the beer isn’t good — because it is — it’s more because it starts to get a little warm by the end. I know the answer to that is “man up and drink faster” and, well, I don’t have a come back because you’re correct. The litres are €6.90 each, which roughly translates to $10.50 for 2.75 beers. While I was there, I sampled three.

• Hofbrau Original: The light. This was my first indication that the domestic versions of the imports I’ve had in the US weren’t going to quite be the same. First of all, it tasted almost nothing like the import version of Hofbrau I get the US. It’s a much crisper, cleaner version of the same thing. The “German Beer Taste” that I occasionally complain about here isn’t apparent at all. And, wow does it go down easily.
• Hofbrau Dunkel: The dark. It also became readily apparent that, just like in the US, I like dark beers better. This one felt like it had more body and a little bit more of a kick. It was also combined with sausage which, really, has to work to be bad.
• Hofbrau Weiss: Roughly equivalent the Hofbrau Hefeweizen. One of my traveling companions only likes Weisses and Hefeweizens so I got to sample a bunch of these which I otherwise wouldn’t have bothered with. Nothing I’m hugely in to but good for a Hefeweizen.

The Bill: Amazingly reasonable. Nine Liters of beer, food for four, just over $100.

Highly recommended.

What They Say: Nothing — near as I can tell the beer is only available on draft and only available in the tavern itself. They insist the beer is the original recipe used in 1864 when the bar opened. The bar claims the (disputed) title of “oldest bar in Manhattan”. The dispute is based on the fact that there are bars in Manhattan that were opened sooner, Pete’s remained open — albeit disguised as a flower shop — as a Speakeasy through Prohibition. Not surprisingly, it sits in a Manhattan neighborhood (Gramercy) that has known money forever and is one of those spots that I don’t feel like I have enough net worth to even walk through. For reference, the neighborhood is named for Gramercy Park, a small, one-block park in the center of the neighborhood. The park is private. It’s surrounded by iron fences and has locked gates to which only the residents who live on the block surrounding the park have keys.

Website: You’re arguably the oldest tavern in New York City. You make your own beer — the recipe of which hasn’t changed since 1864… you can probably do better than a free Geocities website that you haven’t updated since Geocities was invented. Seriously.

Why I Picked It: Pete’s Tavern is rapidly becoming one of my favorite bars in the city. A decently mixed crowd and supremely reasonable drink prices make it a great place for a group. If you get there early enough to grab the corner near the door it’s quite a good place to spend a night. A decent number of HDTVs on local sports with music that just borders on “shout” level. They have a back-room with no music for folks who want to eat dinner and outdoor space. I really have no idea how a bar maintains a license for outdoor space in a neighborhood with as much money as Gramercy. The number of favors owed to this establishment must be mind-blowing. I had never noticed a tap for the House Ale but spotted it on the menu.

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Presentation (5): Draft only — doesn’t really count. As I also didn’t see the tap, I can’t comment. N/A

Originality (5): As the recipe is supposedly from the mid-1800s, it’s hard to fairly compare its originality to anything in the modern day. Too complicated so I’m not rating it. N/A

Body (10): A prototypical draught dark ale — low carbonation and a medium consistency. Low carbonation is admittedly one of my favorite features of dark ales and this one was no different. 8

Taste (10): The thing I love about dark ales is they rarely tend to be overcarbonated and never really taste watered down. At the same time, the beer was wet enough not to dry your mouth out and an almost total lack of bitterness made this a perfect beer to have with my tasty burger. If I had to compare it to something easily available, it would be a thinner version of Newcastle. 10

Efficiency (10): Tough to say. In fairness, though, I had two with my dinner and felt like I could have had ten more without noticing. The under $5/pint price is a good deal for Manhattan but I’d also expect, at the very least, a tingle off two. No dice. 4

Versatility (10): Considering the fact it’s only available in one bar in the city and only on draft, it’s tough to use it for anything other than “getting drunk at Pete’s Tavern while watching a ballgame.” While that’s an excellent use, it kind of hurts the versatility score. 1

Final Grade: 23 (of 40) (translates to 29/50) – good beer.