Brewed By: Rogue Ales
Brewed In: Newport, OR
ABV: 9%
Type: Red Ale, Imperial

What They Say: 8 Ingredients: Crystal 40, Chocolate, Rogue Micro Barley Farm Dare(tm) and Risk(tm) Malts, Rogue Micro Hopyard Alluvial & Williamette Hops, Free Range Coastal Water, and Top Fermenting Pacman Yeast. According to this beer’s web page, though, that appears to be a lie. The web page claims 12 ingredients and also offers the normal Rogue tasting notes: A big beer with a spicey [sic] fruity aroma, chewy mid palate of figs and spice and a long lingering finish. Deep burgundy in color with tremendous drinkability.

Website: Discussed in depth last week. Still love it.

Why I Picked It: This was purchased from the Whole Foods Bowery Beer Room on the same day I picked up the Half-E-Weizen. A box of small 7 oz bottles were next to the register. Since it was there, I grabbed one.

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Presentation (5): The “7oz nip”-sized XS bottles exist to be placed at the register and grabbed as an impulse purchase. It’s sneaky, but effective. Considering the presentation, in this case, was the only reason I bought it, it would be really dishonest to not go full points. Otherwise, it’s a Rogue-styled bottled with an odd painting of a mustachioed dude in a red cloak. 5

Originality (5): It’s an imperial red, so there’s nothing here setting it apart from others of the type. They also claim a proprietary style of hops on the bottle, but this claim is disputed by the website. I’m not sure what the answer is, but I do know it’s a red with a high ABV. 1

Body (10): This pours a deep, almost-crimson red with a small head. I decanted in to a regular pint glass which, obviously, only filled about halfway. It didn’t seem to require a tulip glass. There’s a strong, spicy carbonation that pairs well with the heavy malts. Everything works pretty well together. 8

Taste (10): It smells and tastes malty. It’s really all about malts. I notice the chocolate first which struck me as out of place in a red. The raisin and fig flavoring come in well behind the bolder flavors. The conflicting ingredient lists are screwing me up here because I’m not sure what I’m tasting. Ultimately, the beer tastes like a mash-up of a high-quality, dense red bittered up with chocolate malt. Dry finish leaves the lingering flavor of chocolate. I love the flavors here, and they work together, but I don’t know how much of this I could drink. I guess that explains the serving size. 7

Efficiency (10): At nearly $1/oz ($4.99 plus tax and deposit for 7 oz), this beer would have to reach Utopias-levels of ABV to be efficient. It doesn’t have that. Really, it’s an overpriced sample. I complain about cask festivals that charge $3.50 for an 8 oz pour, so it would be disingenuous to not complain about it here. The 9% ABV saves a little face but, really, why would I pay bar prices for a high ABV beer when I could, you know, go to a bar? 2

Versatility (10): Incredibly low. What am I going to do with a bunch of 7 oz bottles that cost $5 each? These are like the Coronitas… except if an 8 pack of Coronitas cost $40. They exist so people can look at them and go OHHHHHHH THEY’RE SO CUTE!!!!! There’s hardly enough in the bottle to get into. Just as I started enjoying it, it was over. 1

The Snob Sez: A tasty beer destroyed by its serving size. I’d support the idea of sample-sized bottling. I won’t support it at bar pricing. If the Bowery Beer Room ever gets this in Growlers, we’ll revisit.

Final Score: 24 (of 50) OK beer.

Brewed By: Sixpoint Craft Ales
Brewed In: Brooklyn, NY
ABV: 5.0%
Type: Red Ale

What They Say: Nothing. This beer was brewed specifically for the Whole Foods Beer Room, launched at the Bowery store and eventually included in the new Tribeca Beer Room. Which, hey, I get Sixpoint’s weird desire to be Whole Foods pet beer (and, why not?).

Website: I really hate Sixpoint’s website. I hate their cutesy newspaper motif. I hate that their “types” section is called “Creations”. I hate that it was “temporarily disabled” when I was there (there is never an excuse for that. It’s called a “staging server”. If it’s a company doing it for you, fire them). I hate their font. I hate the newspaper motif with no explanation to why they use it. I love their logo, but wish that the brewer/nautical hybrid symbol fit the site’s motif. Did I mention I dislike their newspaper motif?

Why I Picked It: I bought this growler back around New Year’s because, website motif aside, I saw a new Sixpoint at Whole Foods and couldn’t turn it down.

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Presentation (5): Nothing to rate here. It’s a Whole Foods only, growler only offering. So, their only presentation ideas is the name and the logo which, while good, isn’t really enough for a fair rating. N/A

Originality (5): There are a couple of different things going on. First, I have to give them credit for the Whole Foods only growler idea. I don’t know why, but it strikes me as a good idea for both parties. Otherwise, it’s a less malty, more hoppy twist on a red ale. 3

Body (10): It pours exactly like iced tea, with about the same head and lacing. The lack of head led me to assume the carbonation-level would be much higher. It’s a totally unexpected and strange body and not one expected in a beer. If not for the carbonation and huge blast of hops, it’s barely beer-flavored. 5

Taste (10): I was out recently with PLR (and, in fairness, I’m writing this in early February and it might not go live until April) at the awesome Rattle n’ Hum bar in New York City where I sampled Sixpoint’s Oktoberfest (why they had it in February, not sure). The semi-hazy notes in my Blackberry say “Pretty tasty Oktober. Hoppier then a normal Oktober. Not like Germany. Resample Redd — very similar.” As is usually the case with me, I can really only smell hops off the rip but with further searching can pick up the slight odor of caramel malts. Maybe. This obviously isn’t hopped like some of the absurdly overhopped offerings out there but it’s not a flavor I’d go out of my way for. It’s tasty enough, vaguely sessiony, and inoffensive. Just not for me. 6

Efficiency (10): Here’s the weird thing. I can’t say that I love the taste of this beer (and I don’t hate it either) but I quite like drinking it. I like how it finishes and I can kinda/sorta chug it. It’s a relatively low ABV at just 5.0% but I can’t stop drinking it. Maybe that’s a crazy session? I don’t know. 6

Versatility (10): There’s no pairing suggestions that I can find, but a hopped like this I would assume is good for the pizza and beer combo. That said, there’s a small market for this. You’re not going to convert anyone to a sixpoint fan with it and you’re certainly not going to use it as the prototype red ale. Perfectly inoffensive and tasty, but nothing earth-shattering. 4

The Snob Sez: The score is low but it’s OK. I don’t know if I’d buy it again, but it’s not bad.

Final Score: 24 (of 45) = 26 (of 50) – Good beer

Brewed By: Michelob
Brewed In: Gigantic macrobrewery, but we’ll call it St. Louis, MO
Type: Red Ale
ABV: 5.7%

What They Say: Born of Irish tradition, this all-malt ale uses kilned and toasted malts to produce its all-natural, signature red shade. A beer with exceptional balance, Irish Red displays and initial malt sweetness that fades to a clean, dry finish.

Website: Too. Many. Autoplay. Videos. Note to Michelob — one of the reasons I stopped visiting ESPN’s website is their irritating tendency to put auto-start videos on EVERY PAGE. Michelob’s site isn’t much better. On the Irish Red’s homepage, I’m treated to an automatically loading video of the Irish Red commercial. Thanks, guys… I almost definitely didn’t see your commercial which led me to purchase your beer in the first place. I definitely need to the commercial above the fold instead of relevant info like ABV and brewing details. Well done.*

Why I Picked It: I professed my burning desire to get the Michelob Winter Sampler pack before I started reviewing the Saranac 12 Beers. Sadly, as it’s no longer winter, it’s no longer available. I had to settle for Michelob Irish Red. Michelob spent some time as my “getting something good tonight” college beer of choice. I always liked Michelob and Michelob Light better than their Anheuser, Coors, and Miller counterparts. When I saw that Michelob decided to throw its hat into the new trend of macrobrewers-faking-microbrews, I figured why not. Points to Michelob… they’re not hiding (save for their early attempt with Shock Top) their involvement under the banner of a faux-microbrew like the Coors-owned Sandlot “Blue Moon” Brewery, High Falls (Genesee) repackaging and relaunching Honey Brown as the flagship beer under the Dundee line, or InBev-heuser’s Red Hook, Landshark, and — as I recently discovered here in Manhattan — certain bars’ house ales. All that said, if Michelob has the stones to put out their fauxcrobrews (microfauxs?) with the Michelob name and logo on it, I feel like I owe it to them to give it a shot.

* - not well done at all.

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Presentation: At some point when I was in college, someone in Michelob’s marketing department decided it would be a good idea to scrap their iconic bottle and go with a more common bottle shape. It’s a decision I have never, ever understood. It’s nearly impossible to have “creative bottling” but Michelob had it, owned it, and then trashed it for the current design. Why wouldn’t they switch back to the old bottle design for a new marketing campaign? I don’t understand. 2

Originality: I’m pretty sure I’ve had this beer before when it was called Killian’s. Granted, I haven’t sampled a Killian’s in quite some time, but I’m pretty sure I remember the flavor. Besides, the Irish Red thing was overdone five years ago. 1

Taste: They aren’t kidding about the sweetness. The Irish Red starts with a tasty, obvious caramel flavor on the front. I’m a fan of malts, don’t get me wrong, and I’m pretty sure this is about what Killian’s used to taste like back when it was a go to, but the flavor doesn’t really do it for me anymore. While I make fun of hops when they’re the star of a beer, I do find myself missing them when they’re totally lacking. I actually do like the initial taste, but I find it falls apart on the aftertaste. It has an odd, tinny flavor that I usually attribute to German beers, but find here in droves. The finish is just — nothing. It ends with a hint of bitterness and, as advertised, extremely dry and crisp. However, I’m stuck with that tinny aftertaste and I’m just not feeling it. 4

Body: A very deep, red beer with a nearly non-existent head. I drank the first one directly out of the bottle and the second one out of the suggested glassware. It seemed a better fit in my college-purchased, SUNY Potsdam glassware. The carbonation was just about perfect for the beer’s flavor and consistency. As I mentioned in the previous paragraph, the beer promises a dry finish and it delivers. However, it’s a bit too dry for my taste. It gives all the tastebud blowout of a heavy Imperial without the bold flavor. 5

Efficiency: At 5.7%, Michelob would really have to screw up to make this beer not worth it. They don’t. The flavor isn’t so cloying that you can’t make use of the ABV but I’d find it hard to really enjoy anything else with it. It seems almost like they wanted to push this over in to “big beer” territory and, if they did, the flavor may have been a little more forgivable. 6

Versatility: One of their pairing suggestion was lemon squares (not kidding). I actually had a loaf of lemon bread that PLR made this past weekend (still not kidding) so I followed their pairing advice. The citrus sweetness of the lemon did a bit to offset drymouth. The problem is, I don’t think I’d present my guests with Michelob Irish Red as their with-dessert nightcap. This seems like a decent beer to sneak your friends in to the whole craft-brewed, snob experience. It’s good for a lot of things, but not the best for anything. We’ll split the difference. 5

The Snob Sez: It’s… fine, I guess. I don’t get it. I guess the macros want to try to tap in to the craft beer market (InBev-Heuser has been quoted as saying they want to try and get 50% of the market in the next five years) by trying to get the masses attuned to one step above crap in snazzy packaging with fake Sam Adams looking commercials using Brewmasters named Nathaniel? Exaggerating something on one side while scrimping on the other doesn’t make for good craft products. I know it’s a hippie thing to say — but craft brews don’t lend themselves to the maximize-profit world of shareholders and suits unless you have a crazyman like Jim Koch in charge — bless his heart.

Final Score: 23 (of 50). OK beer.

What They Say: This was tough to find. Sam Adams doesn’t list this brew in any of the beer categories of its website, so I had to do a bit of digging to find out what, exactly, it was. The following comes from a press release located at Beernews.org. “With a name inspired by the historic red brick at the Samuel Adams Boston Brewery, Samuel Adams Boston Brick Red has a rich, deep red color and distinctive caramel flavor from pale and caramel malts. The sweetness of the malt is pleasantly balanced by a pronounced hop bitterness. Samuel Adams Boston Brick Red is currently available on draft at select bars and restaurants in the Boston area.

For every pint of Samuel Adams Boston Brick Red sold, an additional donation will be made to The Boston Beer Company’s core philanthropic program, Samuel Adams Brewing the American Dream.”

Website: Sam Adams (The Boston Beer Company) is currently the largest domestic producer of beer in the country (now that Budweiser has become a Fine Belgian Ale™). As you would expect, there’s a pretty huge marketing budget, and this is seen in the site as well. Enter your date of birth, confirm the year in a 2nd screen (annoying), and it’s cleanly laid out from there. Under the “World Of Beer” umbrella, there’s sections for Beer Styles, Brewery Tour (virtual tour—under construction), Beer Encyclopedia, and a Food & Beer pairing section. Beer styles are broken down by type (year-round, seasonal, imperial styles, etc.) making finding the info on a specific beer quite easy.

Why this one, Show?: A few weeks ago I was at the Boston TD Banknorth Garden watching as Old Time Hockey beat the Rangers and clinched the best record in the Eastern Conference. While wandering the concourse looking for a beer, I came upon a Sam Adams cart with two taps in it—Sam Adams blue and this not-before-seen Brick Red. Said cart taps were also being operated by a man with one of the finest handlebar mustaches I’ve seen in real life. It was fate. I had to try this new beer.

First Thoughts:

Head: Not much. Thin; white; some lacing left in the cup after sips.
Nose: Malty; hint of caramel/toffee.
Color: Deep, bright red, almost ruby.

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Presentation (5): Well, there’s not too much I can say for the presentation. This beer is only available on tap, and as such the presentation you get is whatever it’s served in to you. For me, it was your standard 16 oz. sporting arena plastic cup. Although, I’ll toss a couple points for the cup being clear, so as to give me a lovely view of its contents, and for the pour being right to the brim. (2)

Originality (5): This is a red ale amongst many. While that’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s not like this is “red ale with clover honey and Irish wildflowers,” or some such to set it apart. But Sam Adams again pulls out some points here for the originality of a) this being a draught-only beer, and b) proceeds from its sale going to the brewery’s own charity, Brewing The American Dream. (3)

Body (10): As red ales go, this body was very pleasant. While there was a definite presence in the mouth with each sip, the body was light enough that it didn’t overstay its welcome. I’ll call it medium-bodied. There is a little bit of hop bitterness on the tongue after each sip, which is nice to see in a Sam Adams that isn’t the standard Lager. The beer finishes dry, and leaves you wanting to take another sip. I’m impressed. (8)

Taste (10): Tastes like a nice Irish red, and that’s good. The beer’s a bit sweet up front due to the malts. There are definite notes of caramel and a bit of toffee as the sip moves through the mouth. As you swallow, there’s some hops there, along with a light, almost straw-like taste at the finish. It’s that very last flavor, that dryness in the swallow lingering on the tongue for a bit that makes you immediately long for another sip. Well done. (8)

Efficiency (10): With no mention in the press release of its ABV, I’m going to assume that the octane level is more or less comparable to the bottled version of Sam Adams’ Irish Red, which comes in at 5.5% ABV. With local availability, this beer won’t cost you more than any other Sam Adams out at the bar. A slightly sweet, mildly bitter Irish red at around 5.5 ABV is a win in my book. This is the kind of beer you can build a night out around. (9)

Versatility (10): Seeing as this is only available locally (in and around New England I’m going to assume, tho if anyone’s seen it in the lower Tri-State area feel free to weigh in), AND only available on draught, it’s tough to give this beer versatility points. You can’t bring a six of it to your buddy’s place for the Sawks game. On the other hand, you can go out to a bunch of places to enjoy a few without being massively hung over. Since it’s available to me, I’m calling this north of the median. (7)

Final grade: 37 – Really Good beer